make something good

These are a plumerias:

They are gorgeous and smell like new creation.

Plumerias are everywhere in Singapore, white and purple and sweet pink.

Not surprisingly, remembering their fragrance reminded me of a song--

I wanted to make something sweet

The blood inside the maple tree

The sunlight trapped inside the wood

Make something good

I wanted to make something strong

An organ pipe in a cathedral

That stays in tune through a thousand blooms

Make something good

It's gonna take a long, long time

But we're gonna make something so fine

(Laura Veirs, "Make Something Good")

Being creators is weighty... but its heaviness pulls us up high.

We get to create as God creates. We get to be in the ministry of reconciliation, raise the dead with God.

The forever process of becoming holy as He's holy is treacherously unfair

until

we (lifted up on the shoulders of creating, of other brave creators) see that there are just so many more cool things we get to do if we're holy.

We won't get in the way as much anymore. Pride won't push us away from God. We'll get to stay close and actually pick up an instrument and join the orchestra. Sing with the morning stars, shout for joy with the angels, heal the nations...

It's like we've jumped completely into the ocean of God's love, and after hours of stubbornly smacking our faces into waves, we can ride them. Life's a lot easier when we've just accepted that we're dead and Christ lives in us instead.

We get to pour ourselves out as God pours in.

Love will fall to the earth like a crashing wave

(Toby Mac, "City On Our Knees")

--and we'll be part of it!

I'm very very very much not there yet. But God's kingdom is breaking into the gates of hell all over the earth and heaven just smells so sweet.

The kingdoms of this world are become the kingdoms of our Lord, and of his Christ; and he shall reign for ever and ever. (KJV)

Holiness gives us the eyes to see heaven, smell it, absolutely bathe in it.

lyrics

fly me

diamonds are

it's too darn

see the pyramids

cept for me and my monkey!

hush little

of angel hair

lady is a tramp

green eyes

to fix you

lucy in the

blackbird singin

belong to

but you're just

turn me into somebody loved

~lyrics. 

It's funny how snatches of songs conjure up the entire verse, or song... the above list goes from jazz to coldplay to beatles to random artists...   I just read a bit of e. e. cummings and feel unconventional.  

I wonder how it would be to change your entire name to lower case letters, and if cummings ever did it officially. Probably not.  

s. e. littlefield.  Kinda like it.  Except littlefield is a bit long.

stacia e. l.    Except now I'm a slimy fish.

I saw the mother of one of my show choir girls today at church, and it took me a second to place her.  Has it really only been a month since the Mann days?  After church I saw their whole family, including the girl.  weird.  Wonder if it was weird for her--to see Miss Littlefield in the summertime.  Not that she'd see me again anyhow, even if I went back to Mann; she'll be a 9th grader this fall.  Maybe that's what got me on this name kick--I must have heard "Miss Littlefield" several million times this past year.  Well, 100,000 at least.  :)  

Miss Littlefield can I go get a drink?  Miss Littlefield I need a pencil (27x a day).  Miss Littlefield my throat hurts.  Miss Littlefield can I go to the bathroom?  Miss Littlefield the teacher let us out late so we're not tardy, right? Miss Littlefield I hate worksheets Miss Littlefield why are we singing/writing/doing this Miss Littlefield there's only three, two one weeks left! 

Miss Littlefield are you married Mrs. Littlefield (so often) how old are you Mrs. Littleton (yup) can I change seats??  Can I change seats today?  Now? Tomorrow?  Miss Littlefield he swore at me Miss Littlefield look at the bruises my Dad gave me Miss Littlefield it was his fault he pushed me Miss Littlefield she kicked me Miss Littlefield can I write on the board Miss Littlefield this is your new student, his name is Buddy (plush pink bear) 'Welcome, buddy, nice to meet you--here's a worksheet.  Make sure he writes his name, ok?'

Buddy did very well in class.

Teaching.... way too much for this post.  I had better leave it to another time.  in it, Time is crammed full, close to exploding, and each day is rich in anecdote and exhaustion and growing people. 

do I even want to do it again?    Very divided...

set up chairs each day

scrape white to words on the board

listen talk learn teach?

a little haiku for ya.  Would you believe it, I have another paper to stop procrastinating about now!  (hehe will I even write when I finally finally graduate?  procrastination is just such a marvelous literary tool!)