Thursday, August 18, 2011


Well.  It's been a while since I've written, so I'm determined to write something.  


Asking God for things.  

Jesus asks us to ask him for specific things.  Like when he asked a blind man what he could do for him (Matt 20, Mark 10, Luke 18).  And when Jesus asked the cripple by the pool if he wanted to be healed (John 5).
(I always thought those verses indicated a sense of humor, but now I believe Jesus was in earnest.  Drastic healing means drastic change, and voluntary change is never for the faint of heart.)

And of course, the famous, "Ask [in my name] and you will receive, and your joy will be complete (John 16:24)." For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened (Luke 11:10)," "For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened (Matt 7:8)."  And more.

God has asked me what I want during various conversations, and my typical response has been, "I want what you want."  I truly want what He wants, and believed that this was the right, holy answer.  It's also a pretty safe answer.

I still think that.


It wouldn't be very fun if a father asked their four-year-old what he wanted for his birthday, and the kid replied precociously, "I want whatever you want to give me, Daddy."  

It builds intimacy to voraciously LONG for a red fire-engine and then receive it.  More fun for the parent, too.  There's no robotic qualities whatsoever.

So with God, He's been nudging me to ask for things I want.  Which is terrifying and difficult!
It challenges who we can truly say that He is (probably most important question of our lives).  Is my Jesus kind?  Does He care about my desires?  Are they submitted to him but not stuffed into deadness?

And after the courageous leap to ASK (for healing, for a nation, for strawberry bubble gum, whatever have you) comes.... the waiting.  [duh duh duh DAH. Beethoven's 5th]

I wonder if the hours in the Garden of Gethsemane were not harder for Jesus than the flogging. 
The anticipation, the AGONY... the waiting.

confusion and doubts and accusations sting like hail.  No wonder faith (being SURE of what we HOPE for) is called a shield.

Well, that's all I've got.  Being in the thick of things, I really don't have resolution except that 
1. God wants us to search after what's in His heart and ask him those things. 
2. God also asks us to ask Him for things that we truly desire.  He LOVES it, because this means that we trust his kindness towards us, and we HOPE in Him. This brings us closer to him.  
3. Waiting is a battlefield, and God is glorified when we dare to fully feel and ache with him.
4. We know Jesus in a unique, precious way when we wait for things we long for.  He's only been waiting, oh, several thousand years for his bride!

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